THE FOLKLORE OF PLANTS: Horse Chestnut

Lisa Karen Miller

          Many homeowners dislike the mess made by horse chestnut trees – their spiky seed casings and the large hard seeds they hold have to be picked up before mowing to keep the lawn neat and the mower functioning. Its lush spreading canopy offers plentiful shade, however, making it a good choice for the western side of the house.

          For centuries, it has been prized for a completely different reason across the pond.

          Small boys in Great Britain called the nuts of Aesculus hippocastanum conkers.  Mighty wars were waged with these relatives of the buckeye, and hours were spent seeking the biggest and hardest.

          In the autumn, the brown seed casing begins to open, showing the conkers inside. As little warriors had to wait until the nut fell from the tree, campouts were common after spotting a likely candidate.

          Some of us can remember the last time we cheerfully took a sleeping bag to camp out for concert tickets.  Yes, like that. 

          It was essential to keep the whereabouts of this prize conker a secret from any potential opponent, so the boy had to cover his tracks, distract his friends, and deceive his parents as to where he was spending his time while waiting for the champion to fall. 

          It was all terribly exciting.

          The rules were sacrosanct: no boy could boil, soak in vinegar, or otherwise try to harden his conker artificially.  Any such tampering would result in being excluded from play – possibly forever.

          The game, still played today in parts of Britain, goes like this: each player holds his conker (suspended from a string) in front of him, a meter away from his opponent. Alternately, players take strikes at the other conker.  You must hold your conker still while the opponent takes his swing. Play continues until one of the conkers is smashed.

          The winner engages in a victory dance and trash talk.  Humiliation of the “conkered” is essential.

          A new conker is a “none-er” as it has not yet won a battle.  After it wins its first, it’s called a “one-er,” then a “two-er” and so on.

          Few children make their own fun anymore, which is a pity.  If and when the grid goes down, simple pleasures like conkers, button strings, and kicking the can just might make a comeback.

          At least they’d be off the couch.

          To learn more about how conkers is played today in Britain, check out peckhamconker.club and bbc.co.uk (“Bonkers for Conkers”). 

© Copyright 2023 Lisa Karen Miller